Happy Tuesday, y’all!
How many of y’all spend countless hours on social media each week? Mindlessly scrolling, checking in on friends, finding inspiration. 🙋🏻♀️ I definitely do, even more so now that I’m blogging. And I truly love it. Social media is so interesting to me, and I enjoy seeing what all of you creative people come up with everyday! While it can be great a place for connection and inspiration, it can also be a source of comparison. You look at somebody else’s post and you start to think things like “Why can’t I look like that?” “How the heck does she have that many likes when I don’t even have half that amount?” “How does her Instagram feed always look so perfect?” At that point, it starts to become really unhealthy, and that’s kind of where I found myself at the end of last week.
Honesty time: I call it blogger anxiety. You post what you think is your most awesome work yet or the cutest outfit on instagram, and nobody really responds. It can burst your bubble in a big hurry. I never thought I’d be a person that was bothered by my number of “likes” on Instagram or what other people are doing because I know that not everything is what it seems when it comes to social media. I know we’re all at different places in our blogging journeys and in our lives. And in everyday life, I don’t generally compare myself to people I see walking down the street. But lately that’s what has been happening in my life. The other day I noticed that a relatively new blogger (newer than me anyway) already has LIKEtoKNOW.it, which if you don’t know much about it, is an affiliate program that you have to be accepted into. It’s the one that all style bloggers want to be apart of. So I’ve been working extra hard on building my content and my following in hopes of being accepted when I do decide to apply. And somehow, this person is already apart of the program after like a month. I’m just over here thinking negative thoughts like “that’s really annoying.” I immediately felt like I was suddenly behind in the blogging world and jealousy crept in. Other times (a lot of times) I look at some of my favorite veteran bloggers and their hair extensions and their perfectly filled eyelashes and their flawless spray tans and I’m thinking: “maybe I should do those things too.” If I’m being really honest, y’all, I can’t afford that. And even if I could, I wouldn’t want to spend my money on it. My hair is real, my eyelashes are all mine, and if by some chance I do have a tan, I applied it myself. (Don’t get me wrong, if you love doing those things and are able, then that’s great; I don’t say no to the occasional manicure. But most of it’s just not realistic for where I’m at in life.) When I started this thing, I wanted to be really real. I wanted to be somebody that most women and even younger girls could relate to. So now that I’m having these thoughts of changing who I am to fit a mold, it has really made me stop and think about the effects that comparison can have.
If this is something you’re dealing with or have dealt with before, blogger or not, I wanted to share how I’m learning to deal with comparison.
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The first thing I recommend doing is take a break from social media. Seriously, just don’t look at any of it for at least two days. This will really help you take a step back and remember what’s really important, whether it’s family, friends, your blog, etc. Focus on those things. Read a book. Watch a movie. Just don’t get on social media. I promise the world will not end.
When you decide to get back on Instagram and Facebook after a few days, this is the time to put your blinders on. Of course you’re going to see what other people are doing and posting, but don’t dwell on it. Get inspiration from it and move on. You need to be focusing on you and your blog or yourself, whatever the case may be. Focusing on what everyone else is doing isn’t going to grow your business or improve your self worth.
Turn to your support system. I could not be more thankful for my husband and how supportive he has been through this new adventure. He always builds me up and helps keep me focused, even while he’s a million miles away. He literally shares every one of my posts on his Facebook and it’s the cutest thing ever :D. Find that person in your life. Whether it’s your husband, your mom, or a best friend, talk to them about how you’re feeling, and let them build you back up.
Pray about it. Of course, this appears to be the cookie cutter answer for everything life throws at you. But it really is the answer. Let God remind you of who you are and what He created you to do. If you let Him, He will reframe your thinking, remove all that negativity, and set you back on your path.
“Comparison is the thief of all joy.”
If at times you find that you’re still comparing yourself to others, and a social media detox just won’t cut it, remember: We are all in different places in life (and in our blogging journey). We were all made to be different and have unique ideas. And we are all created to make a difference.
Ask yourself: Does it really matter how many likes I got on that photo? I mean really? Heck no. At the end of the day, if you’re proud of what you created, you enjoyed creating it, and you helped or inspired even one person, your job is done. I recently read something that is a perfect reminder when you’re playing the comparison game:
“Since you are like no other being ever created since the beginning of time, you are incomparable.”
How encouraging is that? You are 100% unique. God created you for a purpose, so don’t waste your time trying to be like anybody else!
Outfit Details:Top | Jeans (similar fit, similar design) | Backpack (similar) | Sandals (similar)
Do you deal with comparison? If so, what are your tips for overcoming it? Let me know in the comments below!
xo
Carol J Forrester
Yeah, still learning how to deal with this after five years but I just go back and look at how much my blog has grown since I started and compare my most recent post to my oldest. That normally shakes me out of it.
themidwesternmrs
Great advice! I’m a brand new blogger, and there are times when I think I’ll never be as relevant or popular as the blogs I read. You’re right, we are all in different areas of our blogging journey, and we shouldn’t compare to others! 🙂
whenparkspeaks
I hear you, my mother always used to day that “comparisons are odious”. God, now I have turned into my mother! It is true, I have 2 blogs and while the one “written” by my dog has more followers I still compare myself to hers! You have a voice and people who want to hear it, just be you. By the way you have a great style.