Happy Friday, y’all! I hope you had a wonderful week! It’s been a minute since I’ve gotten super real and honest and vulnerable with you guys. Well today, I’m going to do just that, so get ready haha. Part of the reason I started my blog was to be a source of encouragement for you guys. So I want to make sure I’m doing that by being open and sharing life, whether it’s the struggles or the wins.
Lately I’ve been in a funk. Anybody else ever been there? Maybe you’re there right now too. I have days where I wake up and have zero motivation to even get out of bed. I mean I do, I would just rather not. It’s hard to stay focused on tasks. I’ve felt stressed and overwhelmed (I know you’re thinking what the heck are you stressed about, you work from home). And more than anything, I just haven’t felt like I’m enough. Do you feel me? Now, after I stopped and thought about it, I realized my “funk” likely stems from not feeling like I’m enough. Have you ever felt like that?
Today I want to share:
- The real reason I think I’m in a funk.
- What I’m doing to overcome it.
- Why you (we) are enough.
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The Real Reason I Think I’m In A Funk: I’ve been lying to myself for a while now.
I don’t have the best eating habits (hello, Chick Fil a twice a week) and rarely exercise. Up until this last year I NEVER had to work out and could eat whatever I wanted all while staying at 115 pounds soaking wet. The Freshmen 15 was nothing but a myth to me. Now I guess that I’m getting older, that is no longer the case and it is wearing on me. I look in the mirror, and I don’t like what I see anymore.
- Lie: I don’t look (or feel) good enough anymore.
- Truth: I’m too hard on myself. I don’t really look that different to anyone. I actually look healthier according to friends and family.
When I started blogging back in December, it truly was something that I did just because I loved it. I still love it, but now I want to eventually make a business out of it. Y’all, it’s hard. I am constantly comparing myself to other “successful” bloggers who seem to flourish overnight. This has been a major source of stress lately because I’m not used to not having everything figured out. I’m not used to not having a rule book to go by, and it’s frustrating. How is it possible to be so stressed by something you love so much?
- Lie: I’m never going be good enough to be a “real” blogger. I’ll never be successful, and people don’t like me or care what I have to say. I’m not growing fast enough. People think I’m dumb for doing this.
- Truth: I’m too hard on myself. Success isn’t (or shouldn’t be) measured by a number, it’s about the people you meet and the impact you have on their lives. People do care. Everyone’s journey is different and everyone grows at different rates. People might think it’s dumb, but those people just don’t understand and ultimately don’t matter.
As a lot of you know, I quit my job back in March to try and make this blogging career thing a reality. I am SO beyond blessed to have to ability to do this, and I know if it weren’t for Kevin and his support, it would have never been possible. I know I am so blessed to be able to work from home, and I do enjoy it. But with this opportunity comes sacrifice. A real paycheck. The possibility of losing friends. The lack of social interaction. The weight of all of these things has been very apparent lately and it makes for moments of real loneliness.
- Lie: We need the extra money. I am alone. My friends are all going to forget about me because I’m not around enough.
- Truth: We are ok without a second steady paycheck for now. I am not alone. My friends haven’t actually forgotten about me. I’m getting to live my dream.
Ever since Kevin has been back from deployment, I’ve been having a hard time anytime he leaves. Even if it’s just for a night flight or a three day trip. And I feel SO bad about it because I know it doesn’t make things any easier on him. I’m not really sure where this came from, but it has been crippling and has negative effects on our relationship some days.
- Lie: I’m not a good enough wife. I was not cut out for military life.
- Truth: I’m WAY too hard on myself. It’s a learning process. Kevin has confirmed plenty of times that I am in fact a great wife. Is anybody really cut out for military life? Every week, the military presents us with a new challenge, and it’s nearly impossible to be prepared for them all. Again, it’s all about learning and doing our best to deal with whatever military life throws at us.
How I’m Overcoming the Lies and How You Can Too
If you look in the mirror and don’t like what you see:
Make a change. First, stop being so mean to yourself! Try exercising and eating better. I get it, I used to HATE exercising because the results aren’t immediate and I honestly hate gyms. I feel super uncomfortable haha. So I just recently found an app on my phone that provides simple but effective exercises that are tailored to me and that I can do at home. I’ve only been doing it for a couple of days, but I already feel much better. Instead of eating out so much, we’re going to try and cook more healthy meals at home. There’s a slim chance that I’ll cut out Chick Fil a haha, but it’s all about balance, right?
If you feel like you aren’t enough to land your dream job:
Don’t give up. Keep pushing forward and working just as hard as you did when you started. For me, it’s all about pacing myself and knowing that I’m not really on a timeline here and learning to stop comparing myself to other bloggers. Everyone’s journey is going to look different. There’s always going to be somebody that’s better at the job or that gets ahead quicker, but there is only one you. Know who you are and what makes you different and eventually someone is going to take notice.
If you feel alone:
Wake up everyday and thank God for the people in your life. Lately, I’ve been starting off the day by thinking of each person in my life and how blessed I am to have them. It makes me realize that I’m not actually alone. Surround yourself with good people, whether that’s a church family or work friends. I’ll call mom and talk to her for a little while or text my good friends from college who live hours away. Kevin and I have started planning lunch dates once a week so I can get out of the house. I also try really hard each week to go to lunch or dinner or do something to spend time with friends from my old job.
If you feel like you’re not a good enough wife/girlfriend:
Give yourself a break. Kevin tells me all the time that I’m way too hard on myself, and he’s right. That’s who I’ve alway been. The perfectionist. The people pleaser. But I’m learning lately that I am in fact good enough. Not perfect. But enough. Especially if you’re a military wife, you’ve probably experienced emotions that you can hardly justify or explain. Just know that it’s ok, you’re not alone, and you are doing just fine. Your service member needs you to know that you are enough.
Why You Are Enough
It’s simple, really. Jesus. You’ll probably think this is a cheesy reference, but that’s ok. Lately I have been hooked on the song Reckless Love by Cory Asbury. It is so full of truth and it reminds me that I am enough. That God is always pursuing us no matter how far we stray from Him, no matter what we think of ourselves. The song says:
“When I was Your foe, still your love fought for me. You have been so so good to me. When I felt no worth, You paid it all for me.”
Jesus died for me and for you, and if I believe that, then I have to believe I am enough for Him. If I am enough for the Lord of all creation, I should be enough for myself and for the ones that love me. The song goes on to say:
“There’s no wall you won’t kick down, lie You won’t tear down, coming after me.”
How crazy is that? I truly feel God tearing down those lies in my life lately and I hope you can let Him do the same for you. You are enough.
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalm 139:13-16
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. – Romans 8:38-39
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I hope you found this to be encouraging today and I hope you all have a wonderful, relaxing weekend!
xo
Hayley
Dot Golsan
Beautiful article – beautiful person!
Brittany
Thanks for this post. Something I constantly need to hear.